Ok this last weekend hubby had me come out with him wanting me to look at my youngest goat. He is the cattle master (went thru the class's and everything!) I am the goat and sheep doc. And she was acting really super funny she hadn't been coming down to eat for a couple of days which he said she has done this before but would then a day or 2 later be bouncing around for her food... Now these last 2 girls are not tame AT ALL! So he goes around and touches her and she drops to the ground and starts a seizure. I told him them we need to probably go ahead and put her down. He didn't want to kept saying by tomorrow probably be back to like she has been doing etc etc. So the next day is rains ALL day cold rain constant. I should have gone and checked on her but even if I had? I cant walk into the paddock anymore to get to HER or open the panel to drive the kubota into there.
So he gets home and evidently she had been laying there is the cold rain all DAY

I had the rifle ready along with the feed so I hear 4 shots. I don't know whether I should feel guilty for letting her lay all day or for not putting her down myself that day before instead of expecting him to do it or be ticked at him for NOT just doing it when I said. I know it bugs him even though he use to be a hunter but.. she laid ALL day and I don't know if she was conscious, suffering or not just... AGHHHH! Now her mom is all alone last one left (other than the cows out in the big pasture) and goats are herd animals but she is 2 wild and 2 old to change homes and hubby wont want another critter since we are just now thinning down.. her and her mother played so much and were constant companions; just upsetting and ticking me off, Also loads of guilt... Should have kept a closer eye on her after we lost 2 of the cows to ?? something. shakes head. just needed to vent. off to go watch the remaining cows and goat with the binoculars. She was so beautiful too a cross between alpine and Nubian goats black with lighter chocolate marking on face and the big Nubian floppy ears just not as much just gorgeous, I should have tried harder to work with her and tame her and just handle them more over the years. Just such a sad thing.